Grandma Doris

August 23 1924- March 12 2005

I love you a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck (something she always said)!!!!!! Missing you today!!!!

Thinking of you with love today, but that is nothing new. I thought about you yesterday, and days before that too. I think of you in silence, I often speak your name. All I have are memories and pictures in a frame. Your memory is a keepsake, with which I'll never part. God has you in his keeping, I have you in my heart!

My grandma Doris was a beautiful woman. Eighty four years of age, but surly did not look it.

She had few wrinkles, and earned those that she had. She was average in height and weight.

She had short black hair with few grays; you would never know it was straight

because she curled it every day. She had light skin with a slight yellow tint.

Her eyes were bright blue; if someone looked deep enough, he or she could almost see her soul. Above them were thin eyebrows, somewhat penciled on.

And her smile was gorgeous; it would melt a persons’ heart if they let it.

My grandma had an original scent. She smelled of Ponds cream and Wrigley’s Juicy Fruit gum.

I Caught Hypochondriasis!!!!!

I took the MMPI like 2 weeks ago and I was in the 'normal' rang (whatever that means) for hypochondriasis. Well if I took it tonight that would most definitly NOT be the case.

I've devoted my undivided attention to the fine specimans available to me in the

waiting room for Kaiser's urgent care. What fine specimans indeed!

Am I doing the field of B.S. (Behavioral Science that is) an injustice by not taking advantage of this once in a...I wouldn't say lifetime but you get the idea...opportunity by taking notes?

I mean its not everyday you are in a room full of people this...special.

I would hate to do that so here are a few observations:

1. When you see a child screaming and a mother doing nothing, don't jump to the conclusion that she is a bad mom neglecting her child. She may actually be doing her job...parenting. I saw a perfect example of that tonight. This lady had the most well behaved children Liz and I have ever seen, and at one point when the daughter was having a fit her mom did not give in! Way to go mom!

2. Backing in to sit down. Have you experienced this? Someone that instead of walking towards their seat, they back in and sit down, sometimes missing the seat and landing on an unsuspecting stranger. Tonight that unsuspecting stranger was me...3 times, I will spare you the ENORMOUS details. Who do they think I am, Santa?

3. "Not sick!" I heard an interesting conversation between 2 ladies, one who looked like an African Tribal Princess with a...mane and the other with a bad case of...gas. The conversation went something like this:

Gas: Are you sick?

Mane: No, you?

Gas: Nope, not sick!

Then what are you there for????

4. Ok about the gas. This woman had a RANCID case of it. She kept burping and farting ON Liz, poor Liz! She didn't say excuse me or anything, in the words of Bon Qui Qui...RUDE!!!! Hey, maybe thats why so many people were wearing those surgical masks. At least that is what I would like to think and that it was not that they have some crazy airborne disease lol!

5. Discharge. No not from the hospital...from the eye of the lady sitting next to me. NASTY!!!!!!

6. Tyra, come get some contestants for America's Next Top Model. There were some ladies in there that would put some famous models to shame. They were dressed in the finest cloths, no sarcasm here seriously. They even had THE walk and created a few of their own. One called the "stop and cough walk" and the other the "limp walk" not to be confused with the pimp walk). I still don't know what they were there for. Maybe it was to get a surgical mask, I mean a "cool little blue hat" as one boy called it to add to their wardrobe.

7. She doesn't bite... at least I don't think so but she sure does growl a lot! A lady near me honestly sounded like she was snoring while she was awake.

And last but not least my favorite.

8. The argument!!! There was this crazy money hungry man there. Seriously! He was lecturing (funny considering he thought teaching was a stupid waste of time) everyone about how everyone should be a business owner and that you make a choice not to be rich. Business owner, what about the doctor who is treating him or the pharmacist that is medicating him...anyways I wont get into all he said you would be reading for awhile. Oh but one more thing, when asked how many kids he had, he said "4...that I know of haha!" JERK!

So a man confronted him (wearing a blue mask, I might add, it was amusing) and they argued for awhile but then changed subjects and came to a mutual agreement regarding multiple marriages, be prepared to take notes you wont be getting this anywhere else.

The first wife is the one to "practice" with and make tons of mistakes.

The second wife is the one to learn from the mistakes with.

The third wife is the...keeper.

WOW!!!!

Anyways, sorry if I was mean and/ or disrespectful in any way in this blog. It was just a long night and my roomie and I wanted to turn it into a funny memory.

I hope you at least laughed a little!

GOODNIGHT!!!!

*This blog is dedicated to my beloved roomie and friend Elizabeth Mousa who made this experience all possible. I love you!!!!!*

--And for those of you who are wondering, which I hope is ALL of you...Liz is fine, she has drugs!

Just for fun and maybe some (more) laughs,