Reveal Yourself To Me

North Carolina Summer of 2007

Reveal Yourself To Me

Is that you Lord?
What are you doing?
Are you reaching, holding, or asking?
Reaching out for Your lost children?
Holding tight to the redeemed?
Asking for me to trust you, come to you,
take Your hand and let You lead me?
Oh Lord You reveal Yourself everyday in everyway,
but why this time is it so unmistakable?
Or has it always been that way?
Have I just never noticed?
I don't want to miss out again Lord.
Open my eyes and reveal Yourself to me.

(C) 2007

F.A.F.S.A.

FAFSA
Frustrating All Families Since it's Alpha*
*Alpha means beginning for those of you who didn't know. What can I say? I needed an A.

Ok so once again it is time to fill out the FAFSA...oh what joy. I wish it was a joy. I am starting to think that the trouble that one, or at least most have to go through to fill out the FAFSA isn't worth the money. Don't get me wrong I am very thankful for the money and it helps me a lot, but the process is…painful.

So I am sitting in my room today, or maybe yesterday and I hear one of my roommates on the phone with her dad, you can hear the frustration in her voice. Why? FAFSA
My roomie gets back from her weekend at home, and tells me how her dad "yelled" at her this weekend; it almost brought my poor roomie to tears. I was shocked, they never argue. Why?? FAFSA, of course.

Today I call my mom because I forgot the paper with my pin on it back home. I know exactly where it is. She can't find it right away so she gets frustrated, which lead to a migraine so she told me she would call back. Later she calls me again and "swears" that the papers are not where I told her they were, I assured her that they were. This disagreement led to an argument and in tears I hung up on her. (I know that wasn't nice) She calls me back and she is already raising her voice so I told her to call me back when she cools down (still crying). She called me back a few minuets ago and guess what…it was exactly where I told her it was so she was apologizing and crying. All of this happened over what??? Guess???? FAFSA, yet again.

Ok so I am totally relieved that my mom found the papers so I can do my FAFSA, but I am still not looking forward to it. I have the worst "luck" ever when it comes to Financial Aid stuff…just ask my roomie Liz. Nothing ever works out. FAFSA paperwork in March turns into FAFSA paper work for months.

Ok well I don't usually vent in blogs, so I think I have done enough. If you read all the way through, thank you. And for all you college students out there going through the same thing, I am deeply sorry and I know exactly how you feel.

Still Breathing,
Yvonne

Memory

March 12, 2008

This day, actually month, has been very significant to me for the past 2 years, but this year was different. For some reason this month approaching was no different than any other month and u until now this day wasn’t either. I don’t really understand how I could have possible blanked, but I did. Maybe it is because I have been really busy, and have A LOT of things on my mind, or maybe it is because I am slowly forgetting. Is that normal? I’m afraid that forgetting the day means it looses its significance.

Ok so I am sure that many, if not all of you, are wondering what I am talking about. Today is the 3rd Anniversary of when my grandma passed away. As I said earlier this month came and felt no different than any other and so did today. I was sitting at my computer a few minuets before three when the date started to ring familiar in my mind. I thought to myself how in the world did I almost forget. Looking back at the last couple of days I don’t really know how I blanked because she has come up in at least to conversations. One the other day with my history paper because we were talking about how I am part Indian because my grandma was and the other time was just yesterday when I was talking with Kristen White. She asked me about the frog necklace which I wear EVERY day, and I told her that it was my grandmas, and she gave it to me just before she died.

I guess that I am not as concerned that I almost forgot the day, but I am concerned that I will forget her. Sometimes when I think about her, it is like certain things are missing. I sometimes can’t picture her, just the way I think she was. I can’t remember the sound of her voice and sometimes I can’t remember her laugh or her smile. I only vaguely remember the way she slept and the funny things that she said, the few times she talked in her sleep. They were the topic of conversation for me and my mom at the time. Why can’t I remember now? Well this is turning into a really long blog so I just want to end it with a picture and a bit of what I do remember about her. Thank you for reading!!

My grandma Doris was a beautiful woman. Eighty four years of age, but surly did not look it. She had few wrinkles, and earned those that she had. She was average in height and weight. She had short black hair with few grays; you would never know it was straight because she curled it every day. She had light skin with a slight yellow tint. Her eyes were bright blue; if someone looked deep enough, he or she could almost see her soul. Above them were thin eyebrows, somewhat penciled on. And her smile was gorgeous; it would melt a persons’ heart if they let it. My grandma had an original scent. She smelled of Ponds cream and Wrigley’s Juicy Fruit gum.